Week 9 Recap
What would you do? You're at the casino on New Years Eve, drunk and in the prime of your life. What would you do? You're at Ballos, and because of the holiday they're taking their time transitioning the place from restaurant to night club. People are still eating fancy, overpriced Italian food at tables while they slowly get surrounded by a swelling crowd of drunk 20-somethings. You're already drunk, you've got the hunger, and you come across a seemingly abandoned table still covered in uneaten food and some practically untouched appetizers. What would you do? I say you feast while the feasting is good. It can be important in life to seize a good opportunity when it presents itself, and to press your advantage while you can. This isn't a philosophy to base your whole life around. If you spend every waking moment looking to take advantage of people, you end up a morally bankrupt husk of a person, like Dom, always on his grind, always trying to hustle Leveon Bell when he knows damn sure there's not much chance he plays this year. Strike a balance between looking out for others and doing the right thing, and occasionally taking a good opportunity when you get it. If you see a deserted table covered in perfectly edible food, go ahead and pounce on it like the hungry lion you are. Just make sure you get out of there before the lady comes back to the table and starts screaming at you about how she was going to take that leftover food home for her son.
Ram Ram vs Ike Ike
Isaac had the courtesy to get week high last week, at least saving me from the sting of a close loss. Mahomes is looking unstoppable and Tomas stole the show with a huge game. My squad did there very best, but an abysmal day for Mike Evans and weak games for Cook and Ingram kept me from reaching my full potential.
Little Giants vs Giant Taint
Billy had a rough week this week, he somehow made it all the way to the last round of the survivor pool and then put up the week low. Even more amazingly he managed to get this terrible score despite 25 points from his tight end and a decent show from Cam Newtron. Brocks Giants were on bye but who needs them when you have half of the might Rams offense on your team.
Lexie vs Bobby
It was a classic David and Goliath story this week, except just like in real life Goliath won. Not even Bobby's own daughter was rooting for him this week, but he racked up the points with his damned Matty to Julio connection and a huge game from Hunt. Lexie made a valiant effort and likely had the last 100+ game point for herself all season, but Cole Beasley let us all down when he couldn't come close to the 9 points needed for the win.
Dennis vs the Goat
To quote Dave Chapelle, what can I say about Meeks team that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan? It's bombed out and depleted. Honestly I have to just applaud Meek for not losing his mind by this point in the season, going full Burden and burning his house to the ground. Dennis had an easy win, which his miserable team certainly needed, but aside from his defense he had a solid week and I'm sure is dreaming about sneaking into that last playoff spot.
Dom vs his Gurley
This matchup was as inspiring as a stage production of Clash of the Titans put on by a high school for retards. Dugans normally impressive team would have lost to the pathetic Dom if it wasn't for a lucky break for the Bears defense. Meanwhile Dom managed to scrape together over 100 with his ragtag band of misfits. We can all learn a thing or two from Dom as his heavy investment in Peyton Barber returned an impressive 5 points.
Survivor Pool: After Billy shit the bed Ike takes home the survivor prize. Congrats Ike, it must be nice to win something for once in your life. Don't get too attached to the feeling.
Week High: Ike took the week high along with the survivor win this week. It was an impressive performance but not good enough to top the season high of 185.8