Week 8 Recap
Happy Halloween
What does it mean to be haunted? As a firm believer in the scientific method I sincerely doubt that ghosts are real. There are rational explanations for all the hundreds of reported ghost sightings. Maybe it happened late at night, and you were half asleep and dreaming when your ghost appeared. Maybe it was a trick of the light, a shadow, or a brief hallucination. The human brain is wired to seek out patterns and pick faces out of random blurs. But why do so many people insist that these aberrations are ghosts, often the spirits of deceased friends or family members? Perhaps what's really haunting us is our own grief and fear. A desperate attempt to ignore the grim reality of our own mortality. If you've ever lost a loved one, you know what it's like to do a double take when you thought for a second you saw them walking down the street. You know the empty feeling inside you, like your heart is reaching out for something that's suddenly missing. You're willing to believe in impossible things if it lets you cling to the hope of seeing them just one more time, even just a glimpse or a whisper of them. All of us are haunted. It may be the memory of a friend lost too soon or a beloved elderly relative. It may be the shadow of your own past, your regrets about opportunities missed and chances not taken. For Dominic, he will forever be haunted by his boneheaded decision to start Kenjon Barner in his flex spot. Decades from now he will wake in a cold sweat, the sight of Shady McCoys terrible last meaningless run still in his eyelids as he mourns his brutal 0.2 point loss to Meek. But we should not let the things that haunt us hold us back or keep us living in fear. The sorrows and regrets from our past should inspire us to improve ourselves and those around us. Halloween is a time to acknowledge death, celebrate our lost loved ones, and resolve to make the world a better place while we're still in it.
Cowboys New Golden Taint vs Ram Ram Thank You Billy
Everyone except Billy loves a good comeback story! I thought it was all over when Deshaus Watson racked up a disgusting 5 TD game on Thursday night, but a Halloween miracle was in store! Just one breakout performance on my team with a nice bonus TD from Evans, but solid performances across the board. Meanwhile the rest of Billys team tried to keep up, but a mysteriously quiet day for TY Hilton and a terrible performance from the Ravens D cost him the win.
Sippin vs Shootin
One last October curse for Ike and finally a reason to live for Jeffrey as our unlucky Dugan finally manages to pull off another win. Dugan has been putting up serious points all season, but I just crunched the numbers and he is still 5 games behind first place. He's gonna need to keep avoiding that classic Dugan bad luck to have a shot at the playoffs, but you can't do much better than Todd Gurley as a good luck charm. Ike's team is still spooky scary as well, I can't wait to see how he manages to lose in the playoffs this time.
This guy was champ? vs Tied for First, Still the Worst
Dennis has been uninspiring this season but he had a decent week, thanks to starvin Marvin and a big day for the Houston offense. Bobby managed to pull off the win thanks to his old pal Andrew Luck and the recently deceased Fuller. Notable performances from Mack, Lindsay, and yes, even Jack Doyle as well this week. Dennis can at least take comfort in the fact that Bobby is spending too much time elbow deep in shit-filled diapers to sit back and really enjoy the win.
Little Lexie vs Little Giants
Poor Lexie is now tied for last with her dear husband. I would almost feel bad for her if she hadn't spurned my generous offers to improve her team with some nice trades. Her squad actually did well this week, thanks to James White taking all the touches that Barner was supposed to get. Brock just barely got the win, thanks entirely to my boy Goff and his rammy rams.
Meek vs Guy Who Lost to Meek
Alas, poor Dominic. I know him, a fellow of infinite hubris, of most excellent deceit. A deliciously painful loss for Dom this week that had many of us staying up late watching a terrible game between the Bills and Pats, to be rewarded by that hideous, meaningless run from McCoy that gave meek the slightest of edges this week. Meek may be well out of playoff contention but he still deserves to take a victory lap for this one.
Week High: Dugan spared time for a quick "fuck you" to Bobby while he was busy stomping Ike, taking the week high by a small margin. This $20 prize is likely the most Dugan ever has or ever will take home from fantasy football. Nobody has yet touched the season high score of 185.8.
Survivor: Just Ike and Billy left in the pool. With both guys too stubborn or foolish to hedge their bets, we'll have a winner takes all showdown this week to see who takes home the prize and who gets booted off the island.