Week 7 Recap
We're past the halfway point of the season, let's see what the standings can tell us about the nature of fantasy football and ourselves. In a tale of two teams, Dom has the second lowest points on the season while Dugan has the second highest. Which one would you guess is at 2-5 and which at 4-3? Dugan is averaging 132 points per game and looks like he's going to miss the playoffs. The past couple weeks we've seen him exhibit typical Dugan behaviors, like making foolish trades, leaving bench spots empty, and spending all his free agent auction money on a mediocre player only to drop them a week later. But his points this year mean he's not losing because of poor team management. Not only is Dugan terrible at team management and fantasy football in general, he's also just an incredibly unlucky guy. I'd like to think someone rolled the dice of fate for Dugan and said you've got two options in life: you can beat cancer, or you can make the fantasy football playoffs one year. I say he should have taken his chances with the cancer.
Dugan is tipping towards the cellar and setting fire to everything around him, and meanwhile Meek has calmly been waiting in the cellar all season. Meek's calm and collected manner all season despite awful performances week after week from his team almost has me suspecting he's a serial killer. Lexie, go check his basement for those kids that went missing two weeks ago. There are a few ways you can handle the reality of a losing season, knowing you have to complete the rest of this season and then the long 8 month wait for a chance at redemption. You can play the spoiler, do your very best to get a few wins and knock a few other people down into the cellar with you. You can stop caring, take your anger out on your family and then quit fantasy football on the advice of a county judge like Burden. You can accept your losses like Meek, with the occasional bitter comment but an overall air of dignity and class. Or you can be a Dugan, and act like an ass. Scream and shout with rants and rage, waste your money on Peyton Barber, go back to your cellar cage, and let your season go no farther.
Meek the Weak
I can't feel too bad for Meek this weak because I needed the win and had some tough matchups this week. Thursday did not bode well for Meek with no points from his Cardinals D, and he didn't get any help from Lesean McCoy either who I don't think has any place in a starting lineup anymore. Mediocre performance from my squad this week but all I can see is another W.
Lexie vs Billy
Billy's rookie luck hasn't run out yet. It would be a shame for Billy to take a championship in his first year in the league, but at least we could blame Dom for bringing in a ringer and it would be entertaining to see Ike's disappointment as another person wins the league before him. Lexie must be asking why she ever joined the league as she faces another season in the cellar. Lexie, maybe if you had made some trades with me instead of dropping your phone in the toilet you'd be a bit more competitive this year.
Brock vs the Vietnamese New Year
A little time spared for roster tinkering might have saved Dennis a loss this week, but Dennis still would have had a hard time competing with the Giants offense who managed to look like they were on a professional football team Monday night.
Gurley on Gurley
What can I say about Dugan that I didn't already say in the intro? He's had a string of incredibly bad luck and it was hilarious to watch him crash, burn and rant this week. Bobbys team was firing on all cylinders this week and even though he didn't top the season high, he did secure the week high and beat Dugan who had the second highest score this week. Sometimes fantasy football is just too much fun, eh Jeffrey?
Dom vs Ike
In this battle between classic rivals, it was nice to see Dom take a well-deserved loss. Dom was crowing after a huge Thursday night, but the rest of his team couldn't come close to matching that performance. That really shouldn't be much a surprise since most of Dom's team is grievously injured. The difference for Ike was a huge game from Mahomes. Mahomes seems unstoppable this year, but he's bound to let Ike down at some point, probably somewhere around the first or second week of the playoffs.
Week High: Bobby had high hopes but he didn't get high enough to top the incredible season high of 185.8. It was enough to topple Dugan and inspire some enjoyable ranting at least.
Survivor: The survivor pool is getting shallow. Dennis is the next one off the island this week, it's down to just Ike, Bock and Billy. My guess would be that Brock is the next to go.