Week 10 Recap
Magic Numbers
There are a few magic numbers that describe how our universe works. These numbers are constant, never changing, and they show up in repeating patterns often in the places where you would least expect them. The most famous of these numbers is Archimedes' Constant, better known as Pi. If you take any circle you can imagine, any size from the head of a pin to the orbit of a planet, the ratio of its circumference to its diameter will always be exactly equal to pi. Because the number pi was originally derived based on its relation to the circle, we see it frequently in geometry, trigonometry, calculus and physics. Our basic understanding of how all things work all come back to this number. How galaxies move, how your smart phone works, and how an airplane stays up in the air- any technology more advanced than the stick you use to scratch your ass is reliant on pi. It's not just a recurring number in geometry and physics either. Pi can be derived completely independently of its definition of a circle, and it has popped up in statistics, linear algebra, and game theory.
We have a curious relationship with these magic numbers. Even as we use them to better understand the world we live in, each new discovery only leaves us wondering more. We can define these numbers, we can use them for practical applications, we can use them to build a car or land a man on the moon. We can understand the how of these numbers, but never the why. Why are these numbers always the same? Why do they pop up in seemingly unrelated areas of study? The burden of humanity is to know so much, yet understand so little.
In our league the magic number has always been seven. Get to 7 wins and you've made it to the playoffs, the rest is up to the random twists and quirks of fate. This year we have quite a scrum of mediocre players trying to break the rules. Three of us sit at 7-3, we've made our seven and made it clear we are the best of the best. Meek and Lexie, may their seasons rest in peace, are still at the bottom of the ladder. That leaves 5 average joes fighting over the last 3 playoff spots. The schedule down the home stretch could allow all four of our 5-5 teams to get to 7 wins. They could end up leaving us with one unlucky 7 who misses the playoffs. Is this the year that reality breaks, and we find out that our magic number 7 is not a constant? We'll find out in the next couple weeks.
Thrift Shop vs Ramma Lamma Ding Dong
The great American actor Owen Wilson said it best in his timeless quote: "Wow!". From a projected 30 point loss to an incredible 60 point win, this was the game of the century. Bobby's team had a solid performance but not the over the top one he had come to expect from previous weeks, putting up a respectable but only slightly above average score, but the Matty to Julio connection still looks strong. I can give all the credit for my impressive, mind-blowing performance to Big Ben. I had no idea Ben would have a record breaking night, deciding to show no mercy against the Panthers and racking up 5 motherfucking touchdowns, but I'm sure not mad about it.
From Goat to Gurley
Our cheerful village idiot did not disappoint this week as Dugan suffered a hilarious loss to Meek. Meek was facing the worst record this league has ever seen, but he graciously decided to save that honor for his wife and finally had a decent performance. Brady was still garbage and should have been benched long ago, but Antonio Brown helped Ben light it up on Thursday, and McCoy ran all over the Jets in a brutal defeat that rubbed salt into Jeffreys fresh wounds. Dugan still finds himself ranked near the top in points overall but on the short end of the playoff contention pool. He would likely need 3 straight wins for a playoff push, but is that possible with Gurleys bye week looming?
Shootin the Breeze on my Taint
Bad luck Billy seems to have taken over the October curse from Ike, and we're well into November already. Once a front runner Billy has had a couple bad games and finds himself squarely in the middle of the pack. He couldn't pull out a win despite monster performances from David Johnson and Aaron Jones, but theres a little less shame in that since Ike finished out with the second highest score of the week. Still, it's going to be an uphill battle to the playoffs for Billy, he might need to put on the Tinkerbell outfit and try to shake out a little more pixie dust for good luck.
Little Giants vs Never Tell me the Odds
Dom squeaked out a win like a bare-assed fart on a leather sofa. He's certainly getting plenty of his coveted sweat this season. Brock had a ridiculous 39 points from his Brown running back, but like so many fools before him he made the mistake of trusting the fighting New England Jets defense to get him a win.
Future Consolation Ladder Champ vs the Cellar
Lexie has a little bit of the old Dugan luck as she came up short on yet another valiant effort for a win. I have to say I'm impressed that she's managed to keep her sanity this long after so much heartbreak. It came down to a Monday night showdown between Sterling Shepard and OBJ, but with Odele getting 4 times as many targets as Sterling it was another sad week for Lexie.
Week High: An incredible, admirable, and dare I say handsome 176.9 points was the high score this week, not quite matching the season high which remains at 185.85.